6 Rules for Having Those Hard Money Discussions with Your Partner
October 13, 2018 | By Mason Roberts
We all know that money can be a very touchy subject that is usually not discussed. Many people keep their expenses, income, and debts a secret from their loved ones. When you're in a relationship, however, there comes a point where money needs to be discussed. This can occur when you take your relationship to a new level by purchasing a home, a car, or even going on a vacation. By keeping the conversation of money open, you can really understand one another and what you can afford. If you are ready to have “the talk”, here are some tips and tricks on how to get started.
You may have found in your past relationships that money was a problem. This can be due to keeping your debt from your partner. Don't be ashamed of your debt. Everyone experiences hardships with money, regardless of their income. Share your feelings about debt, money, and your expenses with each other. Being honest will help you begin to understand one another much more. This is the key to having a productive conversation about finances.
A very important part of any serious conversation is to find the perfect time. Make sure it is a time of the month that is not stressful for either you or your partner. Try setting a date to sit down and have this discussion. Build it around both of your schedules, making sure to avoid the week that the bulk of your bills are due.
In all relationships, there is a person that makes more money than the other. Even if it is not by much, odds are one will still have a higher income. Get rid of the “elephant in the room.” There also may be a partner in the relationship that tends to spend money more frequently, whether it is the breadwinner or not. If you are the one overspending, you may want to speak with your significant other about it. If it is your partner that is overspending, however, it is important to express your feelings to them. Explain how it makes you feel when they spend erratically. The key to a financially healthy relationship is acknowledging the obvious, and sharing your honest feelings peacefully.
If you tried talking finance together in the past and it did not go well, you may want to speak with a counselor. This is a difficult topic, so it is normal to disagree when it comes to finances and spending. By seeking out a counselor, you will have a third party with an unbiased opinion. This can help with your financial disagreements and other disagreements you may have as well.
If you and your partner both have some debt, this may be the reason you’re putting off the conversation. Talk to your partner about taking out a loan together. There are many different loans out there to help get you back on your feet such as auto title loans. Discuss this option, as it may help resolve the financial burden between the two of you.
Remember, through all of this, that you love one another. Find ways to keep the peace while having the conversation. Remind your partner that you care for them and that you're talking finance because you trust them. Keep the conversation light and try to stay calm. It's not easy but once you talk it through you will feel a weight lift off of your shoulders.
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